Yes, the Huckster is running.
And he gets a tongue-bath to start the campaign. Sorry for the graphic imagery first thing in the morning, but there's nothing else to call this profile in the New Yorker. Read it for yourself, but here are the takeaways.
First, he's running in 2012. Evidence? He just bought a house in Florida and he's lining up 8,000 word "Meet the Candidate" pieces in the New Yorker that cast him as "the wayward Republican" "best hope" for the GOP. Don't be a fool.
Second, most importantly for consideration when it comes to your primary vote in two years, all you really need to know is that he's being pimped by none other than superdouche Palin-basher and former McCain campaign advisor Steve Schmidt. Of the rotund television personality, Schmidt writes:
"There's no one who really provides a better contrast to Sarah Palin, showing her as an entertainer instead of a serious thinker—and there’s not enough oxygen for both of them."Third, he's carrying a helluva chip on his shoulder. You know who was graceful in the face of poor treatment from commentators? George W. Bush. You know who won't be so graceful? Certain Effin' Doomabee:
"What bothered me more than anything was the disdain that I experienced from the élites: 'Oohhhh, who does Huckabee think he is, speaking about the economy,'" he said, in an accent meant to suggest aristocracy. "They treated me like a total hick," he added. "A complete, uneducated, unprepared hick."Fourth, if you thought he was riding the populist shtick before the Great Recession, you ain't seen nothing yet. Making appearances in this article: a child, "choking with asthma" that Huck says demonstrates why government must provide healthcare.
There's more, but it's Huckabee, so it's not like he's anyone's first choice here at the HQ. I will note this unintentionally hilarious hypothetical, given the press obsession with Obama's "eleven-dimensional chess."
"He's incredibly competitive," Rex Nelson [Huckabee's Communications Director] told me. "Never overlook that. If Mike Huckabee were to sit down at this table and play me in a game of checkers, he would beat my brains out. He’s really, really, really competitive, to the point of competing against his staff, competing against his wife."Lovely.
Look, I supported Huck in 2008. Thompson fizzled, McCain stunk of amnesty, and I wouldn't vote for Romney if you paid me (and Romney would try), so I wasn't left with a whole lot of options. Plus I was in college at the time and too busy to look up all the not-so-conservative parts of Huck's record.
As a Huck supporter, I knew that Huck was going to do the Fox TV show as a way to bide his time and build his profile and run for President again 2012. Why? Because he has an ego the size of Antarctica.
Then I actually watched his show. Yeah. Once or twice was enough. I started calling him "The Big Squish." It got to the point where it made me absolutely sick to see his face on TV.
When Palin showed up, she stole everything from Huckabee. His casting as the underdog? Gone. His spotlight? Gone. All eyes on her. "Hey, I'm a hick. I'm a conservative. I'm Palin without the high heels. Pay attention to ME!!!"
And it just went downhill from there. A sad, sad, man. I hoped he would be happy with his little TV gig, but maybe not.
Figures that Steve Schmidt would turn up on his side. Steve knows that it's essential to do whatever's necessary to keep Palin from getting the nomination. Huckabee is a potential vote-splitter, and that's about it. That's all Schmidt cares about. If he can keep Palin away from the Oval Office, he'll be happy. Because if she wins, he is done.
I loved these comments over at that article:
1. Hey fat boy, answer me this? Who has the Faux New Show where the host makes all the musical guests play with them???
2. I really can't tolerate this guy. He will be the FIRST one to hammer Palin as a quitter. Take it to the bank. Romney will hem and haw for 3 weeks waiting for the focus-group polling to tell him if he should beat that drum as well. Palin will then say something to rhetorically knock their heads together. It will be beautiful.
3. Lets see... Huck, Fiscal Moderate, Social Conservative...
Tea Partys? Fiscal Conservative, Social Agnostic.
Blue Dog Dems? Fiscal Cons, Social Liberals.
Libertarians? Fiscal Cons, Social Libertarians (who are all over the spectrum as to how Liberal in view...)
If'n he gets the Nomination, Obama would cheer, as it would split the ONLY agenda which would really bring the electorate together... ie Fiscal Conservatism, and anger at Washington.
4. He is so incredibly jealous of Palin and it oozes out his pores whenever someone asks him anything about her. He reminds me of a snotty, jealous high school girl.
5. I'm evangelical and my vote goes to Palin, and wont sit home for any reason. I think you paint with too broad a brush. Further more, what makes you think that the pretender Huckabee is a evangelical, he would have to prove that to me. I've seen nothing from him to show me he is, nothing but words with no meaning behind them.
6. A "tongue bath" from "The New Yorker"? That's all you need to know to conclude that Huckabee is the candidate the left WANTS to run against. And therefore is the LAST person who should be nominated.
7. We need to focus on 2010 right now, but since we're on the subject, Let Me Be Clear:
Sarah Palin = Mama Grizzly
Other GOP 2012 candidates = Thousands of hapless salmon
8. Like Obama and McCain rolled together. What could possibly go wrong?