Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A New Old Word for Liberal

I'm so comforted. I just, feel so safe knowing that our President is relying on the advice of the UN Security Council. Ahh, we're in good hands now....

I swear, behind every liberal is a kid who got his feelings hurt on the playground and never got over it.

What kind of mamby pamby dealings is Obama doing with the North Koreans and the Iranians? "We'll give you a stern look." Ooooh, Kim is really scared now. And what is with his world tour apologizing to everybody? Does he think that this will elevate us in the world's eyes? More like the opposite.

But to a liberal, mushy gushy feelings are all that matter. The fact that in less than two hundred days America has surrendered her place in the world for no reason at all, no that doesn't matter. What matters is whether or not everybody thinks we're cool.

Give me a break.

Yo, Obama: This isn't high school! We don't have to be just like everybody else. We don't have to try to "fit in." We play a role in the world. Now, if Europe thinks we're too dorky for their little elite club, who cares? If you need the approval of others to survive, you have a sad life.

If you want to go about foreign policy as though America is trying to get into some clique, maybe the words of some wise older people would fit in well at this juncture: "If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?"

The whole, "well, everybody else is doing it," argument is for junior highers with no self-esteem. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe for all of Obama's apparent arrogance, on the inside he's actually extremely insecure.

I don't know, but I've figured one thing out: the new old word for liberal. This word doesn't really apply to the economic or social policy of the modern day liberal, but it goes quite nicely with the foreign policy side of things. Drum roll please......


Tory.


That's right, I said Tory. And not the contemporary British version, the old American British sympathizer version.

Here's where I got the word. I was reading Thomas Paine the other day, and I came across his remarks on Tories, and I thought, "Wow, it's like he's describing the modern-day liberal." Hence, I shall from this day forward call a foreign-policy-deficient liberal, a Tory. Here's some of Paine's passages:

"And what is a Tory? Good God! what is he? I should not be afraid to go with a hundred Whigs against a thousand Tories, were they to attempt to get into arms. Every Tory is a coward; for servile, slavish, self-interested fear is the foundation of Toryism; and a man under such influence, though he may be cruel, never can be brave....
"Your conduct is an invitation to the enemy, yet not one in a thousand of you has heart enough to join him....

"I once felt all that kind of anger, which a man ought to feel, against the mean principles that are held by the Tories: a noted one,who kept a tavern at Amboy, was standing at his door, with as pretty a child in his hand, about eight or nine years old, as I ever saw, and after speaking his mind as freely as he thought was prudent, finished with this unfatherly expression, "Well! give me peace in my day." Not a man lives on the continent but fully believes that a separation must some time or other finally take place, and a generous parent should have said, "If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace;" and this single reflection, well applied, is sufficient to awaken every man to duty....

"The heart that feels not now is dead; the blood of his children will curse his cowardice, who shrinks back at a time when a little might have saved the whole, and made them happy....

"He that would sell his birthright for a little salt, is as worthless as he who sold it for pottage without salt; and he that would part with it for a gay coat, or a plain coat, ought for ever to be a slave in buff. What are salt, sugar and finery, to the inestimable blessings of "Liberty and Safety!" Or what are the inconveniences of a few months to the tributary bondage of ages? The meanest peasant in America, blessed with these sentiments, is a happy man compared with a New York Tory; he can eat his morsel without repining, and when he has done, can sweeten it with a repast of wholesome air; he can take his child by the hand and bless it, without feeling the conscious shame of neglecting a parent's duty....

"He that is not a supporter of the independent States of America in the same degree that his religious and political principles would suffer him to support the government of any other country, of which he called himself a subject, is, in the American sense of the word, A TORY; and the instant that he endeavors to bring his toryism into practice, he becomes A TRAITOR. The first can only be detected by a general test,and the law hath already provided for the latter.

"Disaffection to independence is the badge of a Tory....

"The part which the Tories were to act, was, by downright lying, to endeavor to put the continent off its guard, and to divide and sow discontent in theminds of such Whigs as they might gain an influence over. In short,to keep up a distraction here, that the force sent from England might be able to conquer in "one campaign." They and the ministry were, by a different game, playing into each other's hands.

"The cry of the Tories in England was, "No reconciliation, no accommodation," in order to obtain the greater military force; while those in America were crying nothing but "reconciliation and accommodation," that the force sent might conquer with the less resistance....their principle is to worship the power which they are most afraid of."

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