Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas, Sarah - from Hillbuzz

This article is a couple days old, but I thought it was appropriate. It's an open letter to Sarah found at Hillbuzz. Excerpts:

Grace, our Coffee Club’s Vice President, suggested I write you today to let you know that in addition to the usual Hillary Clinton Christmas ornaments we’ve been making, and the standard red-white-and-blue ones that are just generally pro-American, we’ve also taken to making Sarah Palin ornaments for people’s trees. There’re nothing too fancy, because I am the only one with any artistic talent of any merit in all of Mineral City, but we’ve got a lot of glitter and decoupaging glue and bulbs in all sizes....

Since you ran for Vice President last year, a really funny thing has happened here in Mineral City. The Ladies Guild, which is Republican women, who previously never got along with us (mainly because they hated Hillary Clinton and I was convinced many of them were vampires), started doing different activities with us as we helped try to get you elected. We’ve all found that the lot of us have more in common with each other than the crazy people who are now currently running the government from the far left.

Every day, someone from the Ladies Guild will say, “I can’t believe I’m having coffee with the Mineral City Coffee Club here in Hillaryland like this”, and I think, “I can’t believe these women are walking around in broad daylight without bursting into flames.” I even serve those cinnamon rolls with the little icing crosses on top and they eat them with no troubles at all (instead of having their mouths catch fire, which is what I would have thought would have happened just two years ago).

So, these appear to be very strange times indeed. People who never agreed on anything are agreeing with one another, because we’re looking passed our differences and accusations of vampirism to the fact that we all love this country and don’t want to see it go backwards or descend into socialism. We do not believe the current occupants of the White House are good people and we do not feel they love this country. The current president had a very clear agenda upon coming to Washington, and it was not the “Hope”, “Change”, and unicorns he promised the gullible in his campaign. We believe, and everyone in Mineral City agrees with us, that the Democrats in power now want to tank our economy, take over whatever remains at the end of the day, and deprive all of us of our freedoms....

You’re doing a fantastic job raising such wonderful kids. You work so hard to fight corruption in government and put the bad guys in their place. Our Coffee Club Secretary, Helen, is an EXPERT on the Internets and always lets us all know when you’ve made another of your Facebook posts. Oh, she prints those out and we all gather around together, really close, and Helen will read them aloud and we get so fired up. We practically want to get up and go door to door and read them to everyone in town — they are that good. I could probably write some that were better, if I tried, but that’s not a knock against you, it’s just the reality that I’m older than you and have been doing this longer and am an excellent writer, perhaps the best in all of Mineral City.

You’re pretty good too, though, and we all loved your book (except Ann Millar, of course, who insisted on reading Dreams William Ayers Told My Father Whoever He Was, or whatever that book by the current president is called, instead of participating in the Going Rogue book club we held when your book came out).

This year, my holiday wish is that you become even more of a force on the national scene next year....

If you run for President in 2012, you can count on The Mineral City Coffee Club and the Ladies Guild joining forces to campaign for you. I’ll turn my kitchen into a little campaign office, humming with activity. My son Robby loves you, and all his friends up in Chicago will work hard for you too up there. We’ll all head into Iowa on the ground for you, and will go to as many states as we can in person to canvass. We’ll phone bank like crazy for you, too, you betcha!

Just two years ago, at Christmas, we were on the ground for Hillary Clinton in Iowa, so we saw every nasty thing the current president and his surrogates did on his behalf. I wanted to write in and let you know not only what support you have, but what you will be up against. These people hate America, will stop at nothing to circumvent every rule and law we have, and will do anything imaginable to win.

The only person any of us think can stop him is you, Governor Palin.

You are our only hope.

As we make our little ornaments for our trees, and paste your face to the bulbs, adding little “Palin 2012s” to them in glitter and decorating them with moose stickers our Treasurer Annabelle found at JoAnn’s Fabrics, we mist up a little thinking about how much we want to see you in the Oval Office, and little Trig playing in his snowsuit on the White House lawn with big sister Piper starting in 2013.

We have no idea what you wish for, or what you are planning, but that’s our wish for you…and our wish for our country.

I have to let you go now, as these Christmas stockings are not going to stuff themselves, and that big CRASH! I just heard from the pantry means Earl’s gotten into Heaven knows how many cookies, so I better get back to it while I still have any cookies left at all.

But, Merry Christmas to you, Governor. Merry Christmas to all the Palins, and the Heaths, and everyone in Alaska. You will be well-represented in all the homes of Mineral City on our Christmas trees this year…and just so you know, we’re making plenty of ornaments to set aside for all the people of Iowa, should you make your run and we find ourselves going door to door in the Hawkeye State round about Christmas 2011, just like we did for Hillary.

Thank you for your service to this country, in the past, present, and FUTURE!

Patricia Melton

President-for-Life of The Mineral City Coffee Club

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