I found these on C4P, posted by RINO-hunter and Chappy:
1. Sarah Palin does not go "hunting". "Hunting" implies the possibility of failure. Sarah Palin goes killing.
2. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Sarah Palin allowed to live.
3. Sarah Palin once fought fire with fire, and fire was admitted to the hospital with third degree burns.
4. Sarah Palin drank Daniel Plainview's milkshake. (There Will Be Blood reference)
5. Alaskan wolfpacks give Sarah first dibs on their kills.
6. Global Warming doesn't kill polar bears. Sarah Palin does - usually with her bare hands.
7. Alaska is the 49th state solely because they knew even before she was born that Sarah Palin would never finish last.
8. Sarah Palin fishes salmon by convincing them it's in their interest to jump into the boat.
9. When a liberal goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Sarah Palin.
10. Sarah Palin can kill two stones with one bird.
11. Sarah Palin does not sleep. She waits.
12. Sarah Palin can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
13. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is an annex of Alaska.
14. If a picture is worth a thousand words, Sarah Palin is worth 1 billion words.
15. Sarah Palin ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
16. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Sarah Palin.
17. Chuck Norris voted for Sarah Palin out of pure respect.
Now that's what Letterman's Top Ten should look like.